Relationships

Hi, How have you been? So last time we looked at resilience and took some hints and tips on how to manage our bounce back ability - what did you think? Did you adopt any new habits and how's it going? Embedding a new behaviour can be tough and we tend to stop when things get a bit better. So keep digging deep, keep focused and remember as your life coach I can really support you with this. Today I want to focus on the massively complex subject of relationships! This area is so large we won't cover it in one blog so I want to break it down.... Your person - do you have / need one?🤔 Family - gotta love them would never have picked them!😬 Friends- let's not get confused here with social likes v connections with actual friends 🥴 So how would rate your relationship with the above groups: Happy with all of them👍 Could do better🤨 Some great some struggling with 😵. Well let's start by saying that's ok. Depending on where you are in life what you have going on we can slide easily from strong, supportive relationships to destructive and toxic ones. The main thing is to be aware of where you on the spectrum. What / who is driving the relationship and the big question why! Here's where I come in as your life coach to support, explore and gain some clarity on this. Reframing and asking ourselves some simple questions and then capturing our answers is key ... So let's have a go..... Your person - do you have / need one?🤔 Can you happily spend time by yourself? Do you need or want a special person? Would you change your values for that person? Would you accept someone who made you feel less than your best self? What are you expecting them to bring to the relationship? Do you love yourself? What do you need this person to give you that you can't give yourself? Family - gotta love them would never have picked them!😬 Do you see people because you have to or you want to? When with family do you talk / listen with intent or stay on devices? Do you revert to a different ( possibly child like ) version of yourself when in family gatherings? Would you want to be in their company if not family? Do you feel manipulated when with them? Do you feel it's a competition when you are at family gatherings? How would you like the relationship to look and feel?

Friends- let's not get confused here with social likes / contacts with actual friends 🥴 Do you want / need friends? Have you got time for all your friends? Ideally would you have fewer mates but more intense meaningful relationships with them? How many of these friends do you see on a regular basis? Which friends would be there for you at 3am in the morning? How much do you really know about your friends? Do you feel more energised or exhausted after being with them? So what have you captured and realised with these questions? Your person - do you have / need one?🤔 Are you in fact needing to go back to square one and actually start by loving yourself before you can comfortably accept the right person to love you for who you are and therefore make you the best version of yourself? Family - gotta love them would never have picked them!😬 Do you take people for granted and not give them the time they truly deserve. Do you see them as an embarrassment of your past something you want to shy away from? Do you need to work on yourself to be the person you are now rather than the child you were? Friends- let's not get confused here with social likes / contacts with actual friends 🥴 Have you reflected to see that true friends need investment of your time, energy and emotions. Real friends bring out the best in you. Authentic friends can take you at your worst, lowest and bring you back with care, support and love. This means having a handful of real friends rather than a phone full of fake, draining, social piranha's.

Knowing what we should do v doing it is tough. If you want support in tackling any of the relationship groups I have mentioned then reach out and let's see how we can manage it together. 👥 It's surprising how much energy goes into trying to get a relationship to work. We change who we are! We accept unacceptable behaviour because it's easier! We ignore our own wellbeing! All for the sake of looking socially normal and in the long run that will break you.💔

So take a moment, share this blog, re read this blog in a few days time and see how the message lands a second time. Does it resonate more? Are you going to take the control back? Are you going to reach out and make that change!💫 Speak soon and remember it's the journey not the destination.✨